The days before Tet, nameless sadness and invisible worries come pouring down.
When I was living at home with my parents, we were always busy until New Year's Eve, until the fireworks on TV went off. As kids, we would clean up until then. We never went out to watch fireworks or celebrate New Year's Eve.
Ask if Tet is fun? Honestly I don't know. I don't feel anything.
In the book Raising Children in Confusion, Dr. Le Nguyen Phuong wrote, “Children are often stressed because they have to deal with challenges in life that are beyond their endurance. The hippocampus is made smaller by stress hormones, making it difficult for them to process memories and emotions when they grow up.”
When I read these lines, I suddenly understood a lot about myself, about how I was reacting and the choices I had made in my life, including how I had reacted to children before.
“If you’re like that, you won’t get far,” someone once said to me when they saw that I was sensitive and expressed strong emotions. I used to think that I was incompetent.
I also used to think that I was not worthy of being a mother because I could not control my emotions and hurt my children.
I was like that for many years.
But I decided to forgive myself when I read those words. I was just a child when I became a mother.
So I remind myself to study more to be a suitable mother, and first of all "re-educate myself to be more mature" with the children.
Someone asked me why I play so many games these days. I said I'm teaching myself how to play and growing up through playing.
I don't need to go as far as someone said. I just need to progress every day, which means understanding myself better every day, seeing more clearly my reactions, behaviors, emotions, and thoughts. And sometimes, it's okay to immerse myself in thoughts or theories. At least I have made an effort for this confusing journey. Perhaps those efforts have brought me to Teaching Children in Confusion, PDEP, Tron Lanh or Coaching, then EQ and many other things.
I feel less confused. Now I can see and name the emotions that are coming up. I know that “an old emotion is waking up.”
Everything will pass.
Only love remains
May the years fade away
Stop sighing
I believe so.
Rewrite, face the "fading", one day looking back, it has gone a long way. Who knows.
Thank you Anbooks for bringing "Teaching children in confusion" to the world, to me so that I can confidently and confusedly teach my children.
(Shared by reader Hoang Tuyet Mai)